Teaser Tuesday: The Last Guardian by Eoin Colfer

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading.
To play along just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!  

 The Last Guardian by Eoin Colfer.

The Last Guardian - Disney Hyperion

Artemis Fowl, once self-proclaimed teenage criminal mastermind, now prefers the term juvenile genius. Apparently he has changed. (Note to self: harrumph.)
- Chapter 1

'Have you heard of the theory of relativity?'
Artemis blinked. 'Is this a joke? I have travelled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.'
'No. Not that theory [...]'
- Chapter 1

Eoin Colfer's eighth - and final - book in the Artemis Fowl series, The Last Guardian, arrived only yesterday in audio book format. Like all other books of this series, I own both the paperback and audio book, but this time, I started listening first and will read it later. It's a great experience listening to Nathaniel Parker reading the book, even if it takes much longer. If you can get your hands on the audio version, try it! Parker is a genius in giving the characters their own distinct voices, much like the German Rufus Beck.
I won't say much concerning the content, only that I hope the dwarf Mulch Diggums is going to make an appearance soon. He's my favourite character - and very funny. ;)
For those of you, who are not familiar with the series, you can find out more here.

What are your current reads? Tease us in the comments!